Kung Hei Fat Choy! It's the Year of the Goat. Hmmm... wonder if this will be a lucky year for me.

* * *

A conversation with my brother, Diego:

Diego: Ate, ang sungit mo daw sabi nung kaklase ko. [My classmates said you were a snob.]
Margaux: Ha? Bakit naman daw? [Huh? How come?]
Diego: Basta. Para ka daw masungit. [They said you just look like it.]
Margaux: Pano nila sinabi sayo? [How did they tell you that?]
Diego: Wala, sabi nung isa, "Ba't ganun ate mo, parang masungit?" [One of them said, "Why is your sister like that, like a snob?"]
Margaux: Ha? Hindi naman ah. Anong sinabi mo? [Huh? That's not true. What did you tell them?]
Diego: "Oo nga, masungit yun." ["Yes, she is a snob."]

Way to go, dear brother. That really got me thinking. Am I a snob? I know I look like it, but I don't think I am a snob! When his friends came over, I was my usual quiet self and didn't mingle much. I mean, what did they expect? For me too prance around, all cheery and all happy? Definitely not my style.

I am not a snob. Does that sound defensive? Sure, I've perfected the art of raising one eyebrow and narrowing my eyes. I've managed to give out effective superior air. I've also been accustomed to insult or find fault (offhand it may seem) in people. Does that make me a snob? Or a bitch even? Maybe a little... But I am surely not doing it in purpose! It's just me. It just happens. Really!

* * *

I watched the SATC 3-episode marathon last night. I absolutely loved it. I just loved Aidan so much... He's one of the closest TV characters that sort of embody my ideal guy. Hmmm... Drakulita's ideal-guy rambling is quite contagious.

My Ideal Guy:

-physically good-looking (sorry, shallow me is emerging)
-taller than me but not too tall
-a gentleman
-has a great sense of humor
-intelligent but not too intellectual
-understanding and patient (can put up with my mood swings)
-always in the mood to have fun
-passionate (he's gotta have a talent or something that truly interests him)
-athletic and artistic
-unpredictable and spontaneous
-romantic but also cynical
-doesn't smoke (or if he does... as long as he doesn't when I'm around)

* * *

How do you get over someone who was never really yours? How do you get rid of your feelings for a "crush" that is just not meant to be? How do you forget about people who'd been part of your life while you were never really a part of theirs? Tell me how.

* * *

I just bought my Stephen Speaks CD! Woo-hoo! It's called No More Doubt... I absolutely love it! Can't wait for Friday!

Today was a nice day... Arch 3 was fun. We went to the Lagoon to disturb the lovers there early in the morning... Nah, we went there to sketch some landscapes. It was really great because it was such a beautiful morning. Not too cold and the sun was shining brightly. *sigh* Just a perfect day to be with nature... The ants and the spiders were really yucky and irritating, though.

* * *

Oh right. Louise went to sit-in with Ea's class this morning. I haven't seen her in a while coz she's studying in Miriam College and well, it's always nice to see friends I haven't seen in a long time. Ea and I both had our Arch 3 classes this morning, we were on the opposite sides of the lobby and so I usually get to see her there and talk to her. She was a bit sad because her loved one didn't stop by to say "Hi." Hmmm... He did talk to me coz he was my classmate, after all, and I asked him is he would be able to go to Ea's dinner thingy next Saturday. It will be Ea's 18th birthday on Sunday... and well, he said he still wasn't sure. Jeez. Niner's planning another surprise birthday thingy for Ea... Hopefully, he can attend that one. It'll just make her day.

* * *

Guy Friend was kidding around with me at the Lagoon. He made this gesture of trying to carry me and tossing me into the pond. Good thing I told him to stop or it would've been ugly. He is weirding me out. He's always nice, touchy and sweet to practically all girls. Something is absolutely wrong with him. Maybe I'm just his girl of the month or whatever. Guys are just sooo confusing.

* * *

Oh another thing about guys. Deb, Gen and I were sketching near Jax, Kevin and Mike and they were being assholes again. Really boisterous and disgusting... Like the instance when Mike asked Jax for something hard (to put his paper on). And right on cue, Kevin remarked, "Bakit di pa ba matigas yung iyo?" ["Isn't yours hard yet?"] Even non-green-minded folks would understand what he just said. Jeez. That started a whole senseless conversation regarding "hardness".

* * *

I don't know why I hate her, but I really do. Her very presence just makes me cringe. I know I haven't written anything about her in my blog... Hopefully, this is the first and the last. We were never really introduced, though we practically hang-out with the same people in my college. We've never talked coz well, she never bothered to acknowledge my presence. I admit that I don't really know her but... I just really don't like her.

Hmmm... descriptions first. She's on the short side... shorter than me... She's probably proud of her straight medium-length hair coz it's always perfectly framing her face... She's got the boobs and a butt... She's got a rather pale or white face due to excessive amount of face powder... She's got big eyes... really weird looking eyes, I must say... She's got this husky sort of bedroom voice... She's always and I mean always, wearing skin-tight denim jeans and baby tees.

She's a flirt. She's always hanging out with different guys... I once saw her held-hands with Ea's loved one. Niner once told me that she jumped on this guy's back and hugged his neck. You know like a piggy back position. To think that she had only known the guy for a couple of months. I saw her clutch my guy classmate's arm near her breasts twice. I saw her place her arms around two guys at the same time. I don't know... Is it just me? Maybe. But seeing her with so many different guys in a sort of intimate level... It's just revolting.

She's got the charms. She walks on the hallway and says hi to all the guys she knows... She hardly stops by to talk to any girl, except for a couple of girl friends that she has. Our paths have crossed in the corridors lots of times and never did she even look at me once. A nod or any sort of recognition would've been accepted but no way, she's too happy in her own world.

I don't know. Maybe I hate her charms. Maybe I hate the sound of her shrilly, yet at the same time husky, voice. Maybe I hate how she manages to ignore me (I surely do not want to be her friend, but I just don't like the way she's ignoring me on purpose). Maybe I'm just jealous that she got all the guys. Maybe I just hate the bad vibes I got from her even before I got to know her name. I don't know, but I just really hate her. *shrugs*

And yes, my friends hate her, too. It's funny that we never really confided it in each other... but her name came up once and the reaction was just thoroughly negative. We all don't like her for some reason.

Maybe the feeling's mutual? *rolls eyes*

* * *

***The following would have been my entry last Wednesday, January 29, 2003, but Blogger was sooo damn slow and I didn't get to post it. Well, for what's it worth... Here it is:***

Okay, this quite an achievement for me... My CW story is finished! Yes. I was in front of the computer from 10:00AM to 4:30PM... Thinking, typing, deleting, brainstorming, retyping... God, my eyes hurt. I think the story sucked big time, though... The plot is very simple and practically uninteresting. A lot of incoherent paragraphs and vague word choice... I just didn't have the energy to re-edit it... I don't believe I even bothered to proof-read the thing. Uh-oh... I'll be sliced and diced on the next workshop then.

I finished the story this afternoon and found out that our beloved printer is acting up and printing all sorts of symbols. Damn. I am just sooo unlucky. I called up my uncle at his office and asked if I could print it there but he said his computer is getting fixed. Argh... It was already too late to go to a computer shop. I ended up having my mom's friend print it at her house... Then someone will bring it later... I sure hope they printed it right. Or I'm dead.

* * *

My old high school friend Mae, who's also studying in UP but I haven't seen in a couple of months, always sends me funny text messages. I was very much frustrated on how I should end my stupid story and she sent me this:

When someone leaves you,
don't hope and wait
for that person to come back...
Feel good about yourself
and say:
"Next please..." =)

I don't know why, but it really made me smile... Well, it didn't help me with my story, though.

* * *

I noticed when I browsed through my recent entries that I've been referring to high school and high school friends quite a lot. *sigh* Well, I suppose I do miss high school a bit. No, I do not miss the strict teachers, the money-hogging Administration, the school rules, the overpriced cafeteria food and the bitchiness of some of my classmates... But I'm just feeling nostalgic about high school. I miss my friends, my classmates and our daily school routine... Things used to be much simpler then. I see the same people, go to the same places, do the same things... Now I know what people mean when they say that there will come a time when you'll miss the comfort familiarity brings.

Jeez, I certainly am having fun in college, but one of my daily problems is where the hell should I eat lunch? There's another mind-boggling question.

* * *

I am a very lazy girl. I'm too lazy to get up from this chair and go to the bathroom to pee.

* * *

Andy will not be on the first Davis Cup tie vs Croatia and he also pulled out of the Siebel Open. The wrist injury is getting serious. Very serious. That may be the first of the many withdrawals. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Okay... I still do not have any idea for that fiction piece for CW. Shittt. It's due this Thursday and... I am still clueless! I hate it. I hate having to think up of something for the mere sake of fulfilling class requirements. I want to write when I'm inspired or when I know what I'm really going to write about... which is rarely. Brain, come on... work, think, do something!!!

* * *

Freaky thing happened. Okay, not really freaky but sort of... Here's the situation:

Class ended. Teacher's pets went to the front to ask the Prof to explain something... Girl Friend is one of those genius teacher's pets and so, I waited for her. A few people were crowding around the Prof... I sort of stepped aside and stood next to Guy Friend who was talking to this Other Guy. We were a feet or so (1.00+ ft.) apart and I was hardly paying attention to their conversation coz I was busy texting... Then Guy Friend's right hand discreetly found its way from the table to my right shoulder. His grip tightened a bit. His arm was around me. I froze and looked up at him. Other Guy looked at him as well and said, "Manyak ka talaga." ["You're such a maniac." - bad translation, I know] I took his hand off my shoulder and gave him a look. He gave me the innocent "What?"-look. He then smiled, mumbled a sheepish sorry and said, "Wala kong magawa eh..." ["I've got nothing to do."] I told him to just go home... and he just said, "Okay, fine. I'm going home now."

At that context it just seemed awkward... But personally, that was just freaky. I sort of have a little "thing" for him... that seems to be on and off. But, jeez... It wasn't really a good moment. Not a kind of kilig-moment. I just don't know what to say. It may not seem like a big deal... but it was really surprising and he just did it at the spur of the moment! We're good friends, but we're not that close! I wasn't even standing that close to him. It was just mind-boggling.

* * *

I just visited our high school batch egroup and man, my dear batchmates are in the loved-and-lost mood recently. Lots of posts and emails of sad and sappy love stories.

1. Guy and Girl like each other but both are too shy to fess up. Finally, Guy plans to tell Girl all about his feelings. Too bad he had to die in a car accident on his way. Guy's mom gives the Girl a box containing his diary, unsent letters, etc... Girl cries. Boo-hoo.

2. Guy is Popular, Girl is Smart. Girl likes Guy but thinks she's too ordinary for him. He's a Star, she's a nobody. Turns out Guy likes Girl too, but thinks he's too dumb for her. She's a Dean's Lister, he's just a jock. Both try their best to forget about their feelings. A perfect example of fools in love.

3. Guy likes Girl. Girl likes some Other Guy, who is Guy's bestfriend. Guy's sad and resigned to the fact that Girl will never be his. It's just unrequited. Move on.

Hmmm... notice the bitter tone and the sarcasm? Fun, fun, fun. Happy Valentine's Day.

* * *

Jela, one of my closest friends in high school whom I haven't seen in months, sent me this: All the things in life are not meant to last... Things change, so do people. You can never hold on to something forever, so learn to live and let go... Wag lang tayo. =)

Awww... I miss her so.

In my old tradition of cramming, I did watch bits of the MTV Asia Awards 2003 last Friday and yesterday instead of starting on my homework. As usual, it was rather uneventful. I suppose the producers tried really hard to blend and merge East and West but I don't know... It just didn't seem right seeing Regine Velasquez one moment then Linkin Park the next. Another thing... it was too damn long! I don't know for sure but it must've lasted 4 or 5 hours! Just imagine sitting through all that. It just didn't work having awards for each Asian country, having movie, style and other unnecessary awards. Besides, what is Blue, Shakira, Michelle Branch and Nora Jones doing at the Best Breakthrough category this year? They've been famous for practically 2 years or well, a year at the least. No wonder Avril Lavigne won. She was the only true "new" act... Speaking of Avril, whoopdeedoo... She stole the night. 3 awards including Best Style or something. Wtf?! Ties and cut-off pants are sure fashionable, huh?

Okay, I'll stop ranting. I did get to see Lee Ryan of Blue who still kinds resembles my dear Andy Roddick. Yes, I know, it's always about Andy, eh? Man, I feel like such a teeny-bopper after those things I've said. I thought I've grown out of the whole I-must-see-the-MTV-Awards-every-year-coz-it's-sooo-cool phase. Well, maybe I have... I just watched it out of boredom and procrastination. Believe me.

* * *

Something freaky happened this morning. I was still putting off homework and instead of researching stuff on my English 12 readings, I used the search engines and typed my friends' and crushes' names instead. Yes, could I be more silly and pathetic? Well, I just did it for fun and yeah, of course there were hardly any relevant results that came up... But then I did click on a few links and whoops... I stumbled upon a group blog. At first I didn't know what it was about... I even thought, hey maybe this friend's part of a group blog. But no, his name just came up twice in a few entries... And well, the people were just doing some ramblings and his full name came up. There was some sort of negative comment about him or a bit of disliking though a bit offhand. It was a bit funny, in a way...

But then I found out that I actually know one of the persons who were part of that blog. Uh-oh. I don't really know him, we've just exchanged a few comments and I doubt it if he really knows me... Well, he was the one who made that sorta snide and funny remark about my friend. Hmmm... I didn't like what I just found out. I mean, that was freaky... It's not even about him not liking my friend but the whole process of stumbling upon somebody's blog and knowing their random sentiments and opinions. And then seeing them in the real world! Jeez. Now I feel like I was such a nosy little you-know-what. God, this is really such a small world!

I wonder if someone who really knows me in the real world gets to see my blog... and maybe their whole image of me changes. Scary thought. Now I know that I should still keep my guard even when blogging.

* * *

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Walk beside me and just be my friend.

- Albert Camus


* * *

Okay, okay... I am going to do my homework now. Promise.

* * *

Oh wait... The Australian Open is over. I am actually quite sad. *sigh*

Andre Agassi defeated Rainer Schuettler 6-2, 6-2, 6-1... Thank God. Serves the arrogant German right.

Oh and yeah, Serena defeated Venus 7-6, 3-6, 6-4 yesterday. What's new? Argh.

Those were rather boring finals in an otherwise wonderful tournament.

Another busy weekend. But of course, instead of studying and doing homework... Here I am online, blogging. What's new, right? I still don't have an idea for that fictional piece that we have to hand in on Thursday at CW... 4-6 pages?! Having writer's block sucks.

* * *

My friend got me a copy of this...

Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

* * *

I spent the night browsing through Andy Roddick sites and message boards... *sigh* All of his devoted fans are just so proud of him.

* * *

I miss watching Dawson's Creek. Yes, I went through the whole DC-craze back in high school. Every Tuesday night at 8PM, most of us were glued on the TV screen watching Studio 23. It was actually kinda interesting that we were a season behind and so when I was a high school freshman, the characters were also high school freshmen... and so on. I liked the show for the interesting dialogue and great storyline. I don't know... It made me think and wonder quite a lot back then. I liked the character of Jack and Jen... Complex but subtle. I liked their friendship, too.

But then of course, as the storyline went in circles... I lost interest. I loved watching it up to the third season... The fourth was a bit tolerable. But when they all went to college... I just didn't get it anymore. Did the show just suddenly suck or did I just grow out of the whole teeny-bopper show phenomenon? Well, I don't know. The past season seemed to be so trying-hard. Besides, whatever happens... Dawson and Joey always ends up together. Always. Practically like every season-ender. *rolls eyes*

The soundtrack... well, soundtracks... rock, though! Great songs.

* * *

My brother had some of his friends and classmates over the whole day. So, the house was really... organized though really noisy. You know how people clean up and rearrange the house when they are expecting visitors... Then later on, the visitors and all the people roaming around just mess up the house. Well, it was practically the first time any of us had some classmates over... I don't recall having my old grade school or high school friends over coz my house is too far away from my school. It kinda sucked like I lost half my childhood, if you think about it coz I was the one who usually came over... but what the heck, life goes on!

Hmmm... I don't really know what to blog about. Lotsa things happened these two days but they're not really worth talking about... Oh, about the whole guys-suck, guys-are-jerks discussion: Yes, it is truly hard to find a real guy worthy of our dear hearts. Time will come. Right now, things are better left unanalyzed (if there's such a word?). Why are we wasting our time and internet hours thinking about them, anyway? *smile*

* * *

Andy plays German Rainer Schuettler later... tonight, I think. I don't know where I can watch it. If I can watch, that is. I won't rant about stupid cable people anymore... I'm still a bit pissed. I hope he wins this one and that it'll be an all-American final with Andre Agassi... And yeah, please let it be a relatively shorter and easier one. My poor dear's exhausted! *pouts*

Damn it. Another all-Williams' final. Bo-ring. I hate it how the both of them are dominating the women's tennis circuit. Takes out the excitement of the game. Well, I'm rooting for Venus. She hasn't won in a while and... argh... I don't like Serena that much. She's a bit arrogant... going for a so-called Serena Slam. Whatever, dear. I was actually rooting for Justine Henin-Hardenne... the little woman with a tremendous backhand. Too bad she lost. About Kim Clijsters... Wtf?! I heard she was up 5-1, then she lost it 7-5. Yeah, yeah, Hewitt's really proud of you.

Enough about tennis. I'm pretty sure I'm boring you guys now. *sigh*

* * *

I still haven't watched The Two Towers... Hahaha. Yeah, kill me now. I'm not an LOTR-fanatic, but I do love the movies... Man, I haven't been in a theater house in a while. I have a list of movies that I want to watch:

One-Hour Photo
The Hot Chick (okay, they say it is funny...)
Catch Me If You Can
8 Mile (I want to see if Eminem could act)
Maid in Manhattan (I hate J-Lo, but I like Ralph Fiennes)
...hmmm... and many more.

Too bad, I don't have the time.

* * *

I think I'm getting tired of him. I see him practically everyday and yeah... I suppose, the "thing" is fading away. Thank God.

* * *

Johanna didn't attend class yesterday... I guess, birthday celebrations should come first. Happy Birthday, dear! I was stuck with our other groupmate, David and jeez, we had this sort of conversation-exercise. It's too long and complicated to explain... Let's just say we were told to pair up, talk to each other and develop a character based on our partners. Blah, blah, blah. He struck me as too uptight and too analytical... but hey, there's one interesting character.

* * *

Everyone's singing Out of My League. I'm hearing it everywhere... I don't know why. I like the song, but puh-leeze... It's too much already. I'm still excited for the concert, though!

* * *

For those who are looking for the lyrics of Nina's Jealous... Just check the archives... or Drakulita's archives. *grin*

* * *

Update!

I got to watch the match at my aunt's house... and I'm such a jinx! I am sooo upset right now.

Andy Roddick lost to Rainer Schuettler, 5-7, 6-2, 3-6, 3-6

It was the first Aussie Open match I've watched and look what happened... he lost! All those other matches I didn't get to see, he did so well! Hmph. But know what, I'm so proud that he got that far. It was his first Grand Slam semi-final and he's now ranked sixth. He's improving. I suppose part of the loss was that his wrist hurt due to a fall he took during that 5-hour quarterfinal marathon... Oh and of course, he must be really, really exhausted after all those 5-setters! Jeez. Schuettler was all too nonchalant and too indifferent at the post-match interview. He should've given the same respect and courtesy that Andy had given him... But no, he said he didn't really think Andy's wrist was hurting because of those aces. Wtf?! I sure hope Andre will cream him on Sunday!

Oh well... Roddick still rocks! I'm sooo proud of him.

Finally, Blogger's working okay now.

* * *

I am sooo pissed with my cable operator! Or cable network or whatever! How come they are not covering the Australian Open, unlike other cable networks?! Argh. I sooo wanted to see Andy play. Everyone's saying that the Youzhny match was probably one of his best ones ever. I cannot believe I missed that. How come Star Sports couldn't get the rights to cover the Aussie Open and the French Open?! I am just so mad and so sad and... Argh. In all the other tournaments they air, Andy only lasts a couple of rounds and they hardly ever show his matches unless the losing ones. That is just so frustrating. And now, at the Aussie Open, he's into the quarters and I haven't seen a single match. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Right now, as I'm typing this, my friends are watching the match vs Younes El Aynaoui live at home and they keep on texting me updates. I'm sooo green with envy.

* * *

I was browsing through Margaux's (not me, duh!) blog... Here's something that made me think:
"Why is it that when we start falling for the perfect someone. The one that we've always prayed to have. Something just turns out to be wrong. Why am I so unlucky. Hot damn."
All I can say is, you certainly are not alone, girl. Believe me.

* * *

I want to cry. I missed Andy Roddick's best match ever. I'm thisclose to crying. Shit. I am so depressed. Pathetic, I know... but hey, I'm also very, very, very happy he won!

Andy Roddick def. Younes El Aynaoui 4-6, 7-6(5), 4-6, 6-4, 21-19

That was a 5-hour match. That was just amazing. That was record-breaking at the Aussie Open. I wanted to kill all those who got to see it. I am one happy gal tonight, tomorrow and probably the next week. See just what Andy does to me? I'm such a schizo. A depressed but happy schizo. I don't even make sense now. I don't care about typos.

I just love Andy Roddick.

Argh. Blogger's acting up. What's wrong with it?

* * *

Inspired by Johanna's blog entry days ago... I now wonder...

Why did I take up BS Architecture?
Why do I fall for sweet but insensitive guys?
Whom should I go with to the Stephen Speaks concert?
Why do I like to write?
Why do conyos talk that way?
How come I'm friends with a number of conyos but still hate their twangy accent?
Why is there poverty?
What do I do to get him to notice me?
Are all guys jerks?
Why am I craving for hot chocolate?
Why do I absolutely hate Math?
Why do I always end up cramming?
Is it possible to get a flat 1.00 in anything in Arch 04?
Why do activists annoy me these days?
Why is there traffic?
Why the hell is the Math building so far away?
How can I grow taller?
...Will I grow taller?
How will I spend my 18th birthday?
Will I take classes this summer?
When will I ever learn?
Why?!

* * *

PS talked to me again this morning. I suppose he had no choice because I was the first and only one there. He was fun to talk to or talk with... whatever. Sometimes I regret teasing him with The Fag. I should lessen it coz I think even though he's really nice... he could easily get fed up with all the jokes. I guess I'm getting to know him more. He's not the usual nice, goody-goody that I thought he was. Well, sure he's nice and very studious and all that but he can be really crazy and hilarious with all his antics as well. Jeez. Wacks was singing bits of Shakira's Whenever, Wherever and PS suddenly did the yodeling part! Deb and I were laughing like crazy. He was really funny. And yeah, the jerk is now beginning to tease and fight with me like everyone else, too... Is that what friendship comes to? Bitching around?

* * *

I suppose there are different stages of a guy-girl or male-female relationship. Here's just what I think:

Stage One:
Guy and Girl doesn't know each other.
Stage Two:
Guy and Girl sees each other but still doesn't know each other.
Stage Three:
Guy and Girl meets...
(They could be: introduced by friends, ends up in the same place together, one introduces himself/herself to the other, etc...)
Stage Four:
Guy and Girl knows each other's names and other information. They say hello when they see each other. They are still very courteous and formal.
Stage Five:
Guy and Girl hangs out together. Does bits of small-talk.
Stage Six:
Guy and Girl gets to know each other really well. Hangs out a lot together.
Stage Seven:
Guy and Girl are friends. Guy treats Girl like a buddy. None of the "formality" crap. They can joke and tease each other all they want.

The following stages are fairly incidental and optional... most of the time, the whole deal ends up with friendship though it may develop into any of the latter stages.

Stage Eight:
Guy and girl are very, very close friends. They can share their feelings and confide their problems with each other.
Stage Nine:
a.) Guy either falls for Girl or b.) Girl falls for Guy. It may be reciprocated but most of the time unrequited.
Stage Ten:
They either a.) become a couple, b.) remain as friends, c.) become exes, d.) never talk to each other again.

Well, that's what I think anyway...

* * *

I read some of my old entries and yeah... there were lots of typos and grammatical errors. Jeez. I was that excited to blog.

TODAY...

- This guy from Kas had a really funny impersonation of yakky and yucky VJ Heart

- Niner's back to school! She had chickenpox last week.

- Mariel and I crammed our Major Plate once again... We submitted it at the end of the class. Well, at least we did it.

- I wore an orange shirt after a long, long time.

- I learned that this guy pronounces the word "roof" as "ruff"! Wtf?! Is that an Atenean accent?

- Traffic was hell, especially in the afternoon, coz of showbiz people rallying against their tax increase in EDSA. Damn them. They earn big bucks and they don't want to spare a dime? And some of them say they want to serve the country. Yeah right.

- I had my period. Shittt. Had boughts of dysmenorrhea. I hate having my period!

- A couple of my friends warned me not to cross the Beta Way alone, coz a couple of girls were molested there a couple of months ago. I only cross the BW in broad daylight and at noon time, but then again, I guess I better be careful.

- Andy won his fourth round match vs Youzhny. I hear he made a great comeback. I was so pleased, thinking there will be another Hewitt rematch at the quarters. Damn Hewitt. He lost to Younes El Aynaoui... No rematch.

- Real Madrid drew 2-2 with Atletico Madrid. It was a very heated match. Too bad they had to concede a 2-1 lead.

- I felt okay... I was frustrated about the whole Major Plate thingy but aside from that, I was my usual self... whatever or whoever that may be. *grin*

I am currently going crazy and having a headache trying to change my layout. HTML is not very friendly to me. So, don't be shocked if you'll see the weirdest color combinations for awhile... I am trying my best really!

* * *

I know I should start my major plate soon... But here I am blogging... Gotta. Get. Off. The. Damn. Computer. Now.

* * *

I sometimes wonder... Why do I feel like everyone else is smarter than me? I know some people are waaay smarter and more intellectual than me, but not everyone! At least I hope not. There are just times that I feel so dumb and so stupid. Like everything I do is wrong. Argh. I'm being pathetic and insecure again. Jeez. That's what studying in UP does to you...

* * *

I'm beginning to see why some people like Coldplay and their songs. Their songs used to bore me and put me to sleep... but now, yeah... they sound alright.

* * *

I like the kid at Pink's Family Portrait video. I don't know why. I find her cute and funny... and pudgy. Hehehe.

* * *

I am so not anticipating the week ahead. I am beginning to get real sick of school. There are days that I go home and I know that I have not really learned anything valuable. Really. That's just so sad, isn't it?

What's this? Am I going through another teenager life crisis?

Nothing much today, really. Still procrastinating that Arch 4 major plate. I don't need a headache on a nice and quiet Saturday. Maybe tomorrow. Been online most of the day and checked out some blogs. It's actually nice to read about people's lives and people's thoughts even though you don't really know them personally. You'd realize that hey, people are just people after all... Beneath all the shalllow stuff and superficial adage, humans are probably more alike, with similar thoughts, feelings and experiences, than they would ever know. I suppose that's what's great about blogs and online journals, it's a chance for you to realize that this other person, is also human after all. But then of course, there are those exceptions... No matter how much you analyze their entries... You just can't picture the thought of interacting with them. Weird.

* * *

Andy won his third round match fairly easy... 6-2, 6-3, 6-2. I am just so excited for the supposed Hewitt quartfinal clash. That should be a very intense match. I sure hope he kicks Hewitt's ass in front of the ugly Aussie's homecrowd. Hahaha.

It just sucks that we don't have coverage on Star Sports. I hear they only got rights to broadcast Wimbledon and the US Open... so I'm miserable. First Grand Slam of the year and I wouldn't see a single match. I don't really know why I like watching tennis this much. It used to all about cute players for me, but after a few years... I realize what a great game it really is.

* * *

Kate is home for the weekend from LB, so we got to talk on the phone. Man, she can be really talkative on the phone... It was really okay with me, but at times I couldn't even get a word in. Just like when Joy is on the phone... It's like a one-way conversation. Okay, maybe I am sometimes guilty of that, too... But not all the time. I'm pretty sure she was just excited and full of stories to share, that's why she got carried away a bit. It would be less annoying if I can actually relate to her stories and if I actually knew the people she was talking about... But hey, my dear friend's got a life and I'm happy for her.

* * *

I was listening to Out of My League this morning... I just couldn't imagine a guy could actually write, sing or even think about something like that. Maybe I'm too cynical and I often generalize that guys are heartless jerks... but that song was just... too sweet and too sincere. I guess I just can't picture a guy really deeply in love that he's notice everything even the very minute details in a girl!

Out of my League by Stephen Speaks

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,
With me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
But I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
'Cause I'm speechless to say what I'm feeling today
But I'm out of my league once again
It's a masterful melody when she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes
And I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise
That I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
And she's all that i see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again...

That's why Stephen Speaks rocks, great music, great lyrics. I cannot wait for the concert!

* * *

I won't be able to go to the Peyups.com party. Hmph. Boo-hoo. Family thing that can't be avoided.

* * *

My sister was watching... ugh... Berks this afternoon. That stupid and fake teeny-bopper show. I see no relevance to real life or even some sort of quality entertainment in that show. Puh-leeze. And what is up with their outfits? Jeez. John Pratts is always wearing double-layered long-sleeved clothing... in a tropical country... in this tropical weather... in Manila. Or Quezon City, for that matter... whatever. Even my 10-year-old sister tells me how stupid he looks. The production and the script all boils down to superficiality. Forgive me, if I'm trashing it way too harshly...

* * *

I remember last Thursday when my AA friends and I were having lunch at the Oz Cafe at the Bahay ng Alumni... Martha brought the December issue of Seventeen Mag and yeah, being the girls that we are we analyzed all the models in there. It's a wonder how girls could gush about how pretty another girl is without giving out the lesbian vibes... now try imagining guys commenting on how good-looking and buff another guy is without giving out the gay vibe. I guess that's just one of the perks of being a girl.

Girls rule!

Yes, dear... I survived yesterday's dreaded Kas 2 report. Whew!

Know what? The weird thing is that I didn't feel any slight sense of nervousness... Not even when I stood up to do my thing. That was really strange because if I had been in high school, even just a little speech would sent me shaking. I suppose college does change a person quite a lot, more than he or she really knows. I guess it's also because I didn't know anybody in that class, I wasn't friends or even buddies with anyone in particular so I really didn't give I damn how I'll look in front of them... Man, in high school I knew everyone and just the slight mistake or whatever goes to the record books. I guess that used to sort of contribute to my "insecurity basket".

I do hope I get a decent grade at the least. It was kind of a sloppy presentation. Oh well. At least it's over and done with.

* * *

My next dreaded homework is that major plate for Arch 4. A parallel perspective of a waiting shed in tracing paper. Shit. I have no idea how I'll do it. But know what... I actually learned and understood most of yesterday's lesson. That was a first for me in Arch 4, I tell you. And yeah... It felt good to know stuff.

* * *

We didn't have Arch16 yesterday! Yup yup yup! The prof came in and said he was feeling a bit sick. Yes, miracles do happen. He just gave us homework and sent us home. The only downside was that, Schidz dared me to sit up front and center for that class and if I did, he would sit there for the rest of the sem. I declined coz I never wanted to be that close to the Great Fag. Awww, shit! I could've just sat there for 10 minutes and then that was it, he'll have to endure it for the rest of the sem! I regret not taking him up on that dare... Hmph.

Another downside was that my ride home was late in picking me up because of the horrible traffic in Katipunan. So, the whole class suspension was of no use for me at all, coz I was fetched at around 6:45PM, which is only 15 minutes short of my usual 7:00PM dismissal. It was a good wait, though... I was with Jiddu and Lozzie. Jiddu was waiting for Lozzie's ride to fetch her... and after Lozzie's ride came, he still stayed and waited till mine arrived. Really. His motto seem to be: Never leave a girl alone or never leave a girl behind. We did the usual bitching and kidding around to kill time. Yes, he's sort of a gentleman, I guess.

* * *

Deb and I had been talking about how... whatdyacallit... some guys can be sooo immature, disrespectful and ungentlemanly. Especially the guys in our group. Deb was saying how she was in Kevin's car with Kevin and Jax and they were discussing the new FHM magazine seriously. Talking about Maui Taylor and Katya Santos. Another time, this time with Mike around too, they were talking about whether a person is aroused or well, doesn't mind seeing two girls kissing... or two guys kissing. Kevin said he wouldn't mind. There was also a time when he and the guys told us to have some stuff photocopied for class since we're going to the SC anyway... It would have been okay if we didn't have to walk. Kevin and Joaquin had their cars at that time. Deb was their usual victim. The poor girl just lets them copy her notes, her homework... Jerks. I could just go on forever. Talk about the time I was crossing the road to the Engineering Building and Kevin drove by and honked his horn at me!

All the instances I've cited didn't seem to be so bothersome, but when they happen on a regular basis, it gets kind of annoying. I mean, it is cool with me to talk about some bold star's boobs or let them copy my homework if we're really, really good buddies. The problem is most of us girls don't even know them that well, even though we all hang out most of the time. So we presume we're still in a formal level. I wonder if it's due to the whole all-boys' school upbringing? But then again, Jiddu's not that bad. He's even more gentleman-like though annoying at times. Hey, Ron came from the same school as the three of them and he's very sensitive when it comes to treating girls right. I know we're not living in the medieval times anymore, so chivalry is like outdated, but can't guys just try and be pleasant even once? Don't get me wrong. They can be nice at times... Like when Joaquin offered us a ride. Or when Jax helped us out with homework... But most of the time, they're just plain pains in the butt.

* * *

Dad and I got into a really big argument this afternoon. We're still not on speaking terms and he seems to be mocking me whenever he talks. He can be such a jerk. I don't want to relate the details of the argument, it was partly my fault but he was a jerk too. I don't feel like apologizing or approaching him now... probably in a day or two. I don't really want to apologize even... but I have to coz hell, I need a ride home from the Stephen Speaks concert. This whole thing really sucks.

* * *

And no, I haven't seen The Two Towers yet. I'm probably the only one in the world who hasn't seen it yet. Bummer.

* * *

I need to find a crush. A real crush-worthy guy. I haven't had one in a while.

I finally got my ticket yesterday! *big grin*

Everyone freaked out when they saw I had one. Everyone meaning my college friends. Madel, Mariel, Drea and Gen. They were a bit upset coz they knew it was sold out. Well, they didn't ask me to reserve for them! (Well, okay, I didn't ask...) Besides, they've all got boyfriends and seeing that a Stephen Speaks gig is a date-thing... I would've thought their boyfriends would have gotten tickets and I'm pretty sure if I reserved for them... they'd want their guys to tag along. Not that there's something wrong with their boys, they're very nice and easy to get along with... I'd just feel left out. *shrugs*

Anyway, I still don't know whom I'm going with... Joy and her Ateneo girl friends or Haidee, Martha and their other UP friends... or somebody else. Hmph. The thing with Joy... she said Tonsi (her dear prospect from UPLB) might come and he might bring a friend along... so she said that maybe we could double date! Wth?! No way, dearie. I believe the whole thing's doubtful anyway... Tonsi? Nah... I'd love to meet him but from what Mae told me... It's sort of unrequited and the guy plays around quite a lot. Tsk-tsk.

* * *

I sooo hate my situation right now. The whole Kas2 report thingy is driving me nuts. Still am not done... I'd have to finish it tonight then print and bind it tomorrow. Then I'll have to do the presentation on Thursday. Life is cruel to me.

* * *

Sex and the City re-runs start tonight! *big smile*

* * *

I'm swamped with school work! Here's what I've got to do till the following week:

- Kasaysayan 2 report and presentation
- Read books and novels for English 12
- Comment on classmates' manuscripts for Creative Writing 10
- Time Chart for Arch 20 major plate
- Do the dreaded and hellish Arch 4 major plate *shakes head, groans, cries...*
- Read the handout for Arch 16
- Finish watercolor landscape painting in Arch 3
- Start reading journal for CW 10

Help! May I survive...

* * *

John Mayer's A Love Song for No One is tormenting me. So apt for my situation. This is me in daydream mode but I can be such a hopeless romantic one day and very cynical and jaded the next...

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded I hate it

*I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

*

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

*

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me


* * *

I think I'm being too mean to him. The insults are getting kinda personal though funny and off-hand. I should start being a real kind friend. I don't know if that's possible coz I'm really bitchy at times... Hey, I did lend him five bucks this morning. He was shocked at my generosity and kindness. I wanted to punch him when he said that... He must really think I'm evil. Oh well, what's new? *wink*

* * *

Andy plays his first round match tonight. Shucks. Good luck to him.

Update! Andy Roddick def. Zeljko Krajan 6-7, 6-2, 7-6, 6-3!!! Had a tough time... but it's a good thing he got through! Whew!

Kate hasn't emailed me back yet. Hmph. Maybe my depressing email scared her. Heehee.

* * *

I'm still cramming my paper. Done more than half... but hey, it still sucks. I don't think I've had enough research... I'll probably swing by the Lib on Tuesday. I'm doing my report alone... In front of 20 people that I don't even know. Ina said she might go have an LOA. Tough luck. Well, tough luck for me, too... I have no idea how I'm going to present that report... Just thinking about it scares the hell out of me. Don't count on me for public speaking. I suck big time.

* * *

After months and months of airing... I still don't get what the heck is up with that Rejoice shampoo commercial. The one with the guy going abroad and before he goes he asked the girl to marry him. I just don't get it! And what is up with those kids playing? Are those their kids or what? They're unmarried and they have children? Or the kids aren't theirs? Or just the girl's? Man, I just don't get that commercial... I'd say those who thought of that concept must be pretty dumb. No offense, but come on!

* * *

I just saw from RR that Andy bought Mandy a $3,000-worth guitar... If only all guys could be like him...

* * *

Back to the report... The net is just sooo addicting!

Hmmm. Just saw this quote somewhere: You'd be able to appreciate the prince after you've been through all the frogs.

It makes sense. Problem is, I've never even had much of a frog. All I've had were half-frogs. That's practically zero. Nil. Zilch. Nada. Am I lucky or what?

* * *

This song doesn't really apply much to my situation... He's unattached after all. But still, I'm jealous of every other girl who's with him!

Jealous by Nina

Jealous of the one who caught your eye
One of my darker days
When you looked at her, where was I?
I should've been in her place

*Here I am,
All alone imagining
What might have been
What could have been
If I had been there...

**Jealous of the one whose arms are around you
If she's keeping you satisfied
Jealous of the one who finally found you
Made your sun and your stars collide
She's a very, very lucky girl...

Jealous of the girl who won your heart
They say it's a perfect match
She's gonna get to be where you are
And it don't get better than that

*She'll set you fine
Whisper words I wish were mine
What might have been
What could have been
If I had been there

**

***And you know, I'll fight the good fight
If I thought you'd change your mind
But if she makes you happy,
Then I'll leave the dream behind
Man, she better treat you right
And give you everything...
Coz the moment that she doesn't,
I'll be waiting in the wings.

Some lines might be missing or wrong... Sorry...

* * *

It is quite funny how I always seem to set goals for myself, while keeping in mind that it's just okay to fall a bit shorter than what I expected. I've been thinking about this lately and I realized that I am really such an underachiever. I don't know why... I suppose I'm too lazy, I don't work hard enough or simply, I just don't want to be at the top. Is that weird? Probably. I should set high standards and try my very best to achieve them. I don't know how I'll ever convince myself... I sooo need encouragement. I mean, sure, I'm probably pretty smart since I passed both UP and Ateneo... but I think I don't apply myself well. I'm just contented being average, I'm just happy if I pass. Jeez, that sounded like something coming from a shrink. Scary. I think I analyze myself waaay too much.

* * *

I am a bit worried about my Stephen Speaks ticket. Joy wasn't sure if she could still get me a ticket, but then there was this girl from Peyups who was selling me one... It's all pretty much doubtful. I sooo want to go. I'll be meeting up with that girl on Monday... Time and venue still unclear coz we've only got 30 minutes to spare with our schedule. Her break's from 12:30PM to 4:30PM, mine's only from 11:30AM to 1:00PM and I get off at 5:00PM. The real problem is that she's from Ateneo and well, Katipunan traffic sucks. If we meet at Katipunan, the traffic back to UP will be pretty bad and I might be late for class. If we meet at UP, God only knows when she'll arrive...

* * *

Oh here's the article I've been talking about. How Not to Love. Thanks, Drakulita.

Gotta get back to cramming.

I am bitter, depressed, stressed out and frustrated. Damn this life.

* * *

Yesterday was a real looong day. I had that oh-so-lovely 7AM-7PM schedule... and I barely had a three-hours' sleep the night before. I talked to my Kas2 prof... We're still not certain of Ina's situation, but she's making me report, alone, on Thursday. Shittt. I'm cramming the paperwork this entire weekend, but I still don't have a clue about my presentation. Lord, help...

Another bad thing that happened was... argh... that stupid make-up esquisse for Arch 04. We had an exercise, a homework, similar to that but I didn't get to finish it and I plan to pass it on Monday... Hell, I didn't even finish the esquisse either. The Prof was even helping me out already! Sheesh. That was so pathetic, but I was pretty sure he was enjoying seeing me having a tough time. What's worse is practically everyone finished it. Even Mariel. She bombed the first time, barely did anything... but she finished it this time and I'm pretty sure she's got a grade of 1. Having Jason, the perfect-scoring guy, and Jiddu mingle around didn't help. They were finished 15 minutes before time! Wtf?! I definitely didn't want them to see me at my stupid moment. I just hope I get a 2.0 at the least. I wouldn't want another 2.5...

To top it all off, it was a Thursday and so... we had the dreaded Arch 16 with the Big-headed Faggot... I am really getting nastier and nastier with every entry. As usual he was in his rather arrogant, bossy and know-it-all mood. And yes, he eventually picked on his favorite student, Schidz. We were thinking he's got a thing for him. Ew.

Oh right. To cap off the night, my dad and I had a little skirmish. But we're okay now.

* * *

I hate sweet guys. Those kind of guys who are sweet to every girl he knows. I've read an article from Peyups regarding sweet guys... I should search for it later and post it here. Why can't all guys just be sweet to the girl they like, love or have a thing for and be indifferent or a jerk even to those whom they don't really like. Coz those sweet things they say and kind things they do... It's too confusing and too hurting even. I know, I know... the writer of that article was pretty good, though pretty jaded too. She said something like: If you know that that certain guy is sweet to everyone and you have a sort of thing for him... Try not to dwell on the moments you have with him or think that every little sweet thing he does shows his affection for you... Because he certainly isn't dwelling on them or thinking of you. He is just sweet, remember? ...She's right and I'm doing the opposite. I keep on thinking about him and those moments. Damn him. Why does he have to be so sweet to everyone? It's kinda annoying seeing him so friendly with other girls like he is with me. I should just forget about him. I really, really should. Get out of my mind... please!

* * *

Oh. Today was an okay-day. We attended this presentation of this artist in Arch 03... His name was Magoo Valencia. Man, was he sooo talented. His art works were just... whoa. He made it look so easy but... I tell you, that man was a genius. Hmmm... PS didn't talk or even look at me. BB was too busy flirting with Ana... though he did talk to me a bit. CK ... he just smiled and tapped my head once. That was it. Oh right, and he won the raffle for Mr. Valencia's on-the-spot painting. Damn you, Jiddu... Lucky guy.

* * *

I should've known that I'll have to pay for that wonderful Tuesday. I'm going through school-hell right now.

* * *

Ooh. The Aussie Open Draw is out. Andy's draw isn't that bad... though he'll meet Hewitt in the quarters. If he gets there that is!

Lousy day. All I need was type up my Arch 16 paper. I did First Knight instead coz it's still fresh in my memory. That was hard trying to extend the thingy to 5 pages! To think that the nosy fag (I am so bad, I know, I just don't like him at all, sorry...) probably won't read all of it. Hmph. I'm yet to finish my Arch 04 exercise and review for that make-up esquisse tomorrow. Lord, please help me on that one. I badly need it.

* * *

Ina called. We still don't know what will happen to our report. I already emailed our Prof regarding the report status, but I'm yet to get a reply. The situation is sooo stressing. I haven't translated the thingy yet. There is going to be a major cram-session this weekend. I am definitely NOT happy about it.

* * *

On a happier note, we got a new puppy today! *smiles* Yes! A labrador... It's actually our dog Scooby's puppy with my mom's friend's dog. Get it? She's adorable... so cute. We're yet to name her, though. Man, we now have 4 dogs in this house... It's going to be really tough. Sometimes I do feel bad about the dogs, a couple are caged and well, sometimes my bro forgets to feed them! Wtf? It really makes me feel bad whenever they are neglected.

* * *

Damn. Andy lost to Hyung-Taik Lee at the second round of the Adidas International, 6-7, 6-7. Jeez. Tie-breakers! To someone he had beaten a couple of times before! What is wrong with him? He's seeded 9th at the Aussie Open... I sure hope he gets to the semis at least! The draw isn't out yet, but I'm betting it'll be a tough one as always.

Here's what he said after the match: "It was match point ... he was playing with the wind, I was playing against it. I took a grip and took full heaves at it. Normally it would have gone out of the stadium but it actually went in. I made four in a row. I'm not going to beat myself up over the loss. It was unbelievable conditions. It's disappointing because I would have liked another match or two in preparation going into the Aussie Open."

I suppose the environment can be tough. But still, I'm gutted. *sigh*

* * *

I'm going to print my paper at my uncle's office later coz our printer at home really suck. Then I'll work on my Arch 04 homework. I sooo need help on that one. That is definitely my least favorite subject... Today's a bit down for me, but I still smile whenever I think of yesterday's happening. Anyway, I'm off... Acads are beckoning me to work and study. Hmph.

Oh my god. This has been an awesome day! *smileys everywhere!*

Okay, okay... I should probably relate Monday's happenings first... *sigh*

* * *

January 6, 2003 - Hmmm. This is the day I wasn't looking forward to. Man, it's the first day of school in the year 2003! *rolls eyes* Anyway, I didn't have my first class (the 7:00AM one in Kas 2) so I got there at around 8:00 for my English 12 class at 8:30. Boring. We were supposed to have read Faust, right? Well, I just read bits of it on the Net and I also thoroughly read the summary. Hell, there were so many versions of the names. Anyway, so this group discussed their report and it was sorta clear that they also downloaded the thingy from the Net. Ha! Well, it was boring as usual and in the end, I suppose the prof didn't feel like discussing it so he gave us a tough writing exercise! Damn him. Argh. The first question, I didn't really understand and the second one, I just tried to wing it. Bleh. Even Gera and ZS didn't know what to write. Well, once we finished the thingy we were allowed to go and so, off I went but it was still kinda early to go to my next class. So I hung out by the second floor and chatted with Drea for awhile. Then at my Creative Writing 10 class, which started at 10:00, went okay. My group was supposed to do the workshop thingy, but the Prof made a mistake of which set of papers to bring, and so the other group did the workshop. It was actually a bit dull and boring, too... I just talked a little with Jo. She was so happy and excited about my first Peyups article coming out. Jeez. She was actually pretty fun to talk with. :-)

As usual, I ate lunch with my AA friends at Cafe Diliman... Actually, just Niner, Martha, Maggie and Loren. Ea was with her friend Victor, whom I haven't met and whom her whole barkada hated a lot. They told me what a nosy little jerk he was and yeah, I got the picture. Haidee, on the other hand, had to work on her Chemistry projects, and Naomi, had a PE class then. Mae and Prescille... I haven't seen in weeks even before the Christmas break! It was fun to talk and get together again. I always have fun with those gals. Anyway, Madel was also there having lunch with her high school friends, and so we walked towards the Eng'g building together since we've got Arch 20 next. Get this, she told me that Joaquin was part of RX 93.1's A Date With A Star contest. Hahaha. Wtf?! That guy's getting big. When we got to the lobby, Drea, Mariel and our classmate Nina were already there. Drea's got our pics from the Christmas Party. They looked okay... I guess. After some time, Gen and Lorce came and soon the class started. It was shorter than usual, we just had a lecture. The four of us (Drea, Mariel, Lorce and I) talked while we waited for our dreaded Arch 04 class. Lorce actually talked in detail about the removal/operation of her wisdom tooth! It was part ewwwy and part hilarious. Jiddu (yeah, enough of those nicknames!) came by and Mariel and I teased him about being in the Seventeen mag. He just smiled and denied it. Yeah right. The prof came and distributed our past exercise and our esquisse. Dammit. 2.50 on both. And Jiddu saw one of them coz he handed them to me while he got his! He was pretty weird. When I came back, he tried to block my way teasingly... Whatever. I was more depressed about my grades to be happy about him paying attention to me. Man, 2.50?! The prof was kind enough to let those who had a grade less than 1.75 to take a make-up esquisse. Hell. I didn't want to do it again but if I could get a better grade... Hmph. Then he discussed the thingy once again and bits of the new lesson. It was actually kinda hard to hear and understand him coz he's got a soft voice and there were some men working at the room next to ours. They were pounding and creating all the racket. It was annoying! He dismissed us a bit earlier, too. I think all profs are still on vacation-and-lazy-ass mode like most of us. Went home after that. Really tired. *yawn*

* * *

Whew. That was a long narration. Anyway, on to my great day... *grinning* Well, I thought it would be a pretty ordinary day. I got to school at around 8:30AM (class supposedly starts at 9:00 but usually it's at 9:30) and I found Gen at our usual spot writing something. Schidz was at his usual spot talking with his friends Nina and Patrick (I think that was his name). Gen said it was for her Creative Writing class. It was due today and she was cramming it. As usual. So, I just sat there texting and talking to her for a while. Later on she went up to the library to type and print it. So I was left alone there. Loner!!! Well, Kevin and Jacky were there, hanging out with Schidz's group. I didn't really want to butt in. That felt a bit lousy but hey... After some time, Mr. Star himself, Wacky, arrived. *laughing* I still can't help but laugh about it. He went over and placed his stuff at his usual drafting table, beside Gen's. He said "Hi" to me and asked how I was. *grinning* He then sat next to me, grabbed my roll of paper and took a look. I told him it's empty, then he asked to take a look at my cellphone. I hesitated a bit, but then he took it already. I teased him about the whole Date A Star thingy, he just rolled his eyes. He went on to play Bumper then asked if he could check my messages. Uh-oh. I was about to grab it, you know, to check whether some things should be censored from him coz most of those quotes I had in there were... well, too mushy compared to the nasty Margaux that he knows. He was holding it out of reach! It took awhile before he finally gave in. I checked my outbox then erased a couple of messages then gave it back to him. He was laughing and said it wasn't fair that I was censoring it. I rolled my eyes at him and he just smiled at gave back my phone. Hmph. Then he went to join the group and I went back to texting and sort of reading my paperback copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude.

Just then... guess who approached me and stopped by to talk? Mr. I-don't-usually-talk-to-you-unless-it's-about-Ea himself, Schidz! What is it with me today, cute guys stopping by to chat with me?! Hahaha. He asked if I already did my paper for Arch 16, the one about the movie. I said I haven't really started yet and I might do Elizabeth or First Knight. He said his was on Great Expectations. It was a good small talk... an actual conversation. I wasn't that teasey or bitchy with him... I just kidded him about being Prof. Lico's favorite. But that was all. *still giddy* Anyway, the prof came and we had a discussion regarding these two painting he brought. They were very good! He bought them at Megamall. Then he distributed some of the first plates... Dang it. I had a grade of 1.50. Hmph. I am so bad with grades these days. Okay, that was a pretty decent grade... but not really decent enough to make it to the class exhibit. Most of my friends had theirs in the exhibit. Moving on... We were supposed to do a Landscape painting thingy then. But he was only going to check the sketches that meeting, so most of us were pretty lazy. Oh right, Gen came back about 10 minutes after the Prof came and Deb came much later. We just did bits of the work, you know stretching the paper, doing rough sketches, transferring it to the paper... and talked most of the time. Gen even had the courage to just leave because she was already hungry and Pao was there waiting for her.

Later on, Mr. I'm-so-cute, Jiddu, came by while Deb and I were talking. He was smiling, as usual, intending to take a look at our work when I suddenly said aloud to Deb as if he wasn't there, "Uy, alam mo ba, si Jiddu nasa Seventeen?" [translation: "Hey, do you know that Jiddu's in Seventeen?"] His eyes went wide, he had this big threathening smile and was about to strangle me. I smiled and put away his hands. "Pinagkakalat mo talaga ha!" he said. ["You're really spreading it, huh!" - bad translation] Then I went on to say, "Lam mo ba ginagawa ni Jiddu don?" ["Know what he was doing there?"] and Deb was of course, curious. Jiddu rolled his eyes and said, "Sige po, aalis na po." ["Okay, I will go."- another bad translation] Hahaha. Poor guy. I told him I was just kidding. After that, I did tell Deb about the "Kissing Under the Mistletoe"-issue. Hmmm... when the Prof checked our sketches and we were allowed to go, Deb and I went off together. Jiddu was sitting at the outer end of our row and we had to pass by him. He saw me approaching, I told him in a haughty tone, "Tabi." [Move away] and he laughed and muttered, "Taray." ["Bitch/Snob." - or something like that]. He moved his stool forward a couple of inches and I told him I still can't fit there... He moved a couple more and I got by. I was already out and I faced him sitting there and he said with a matching grin, "Sorry, I thought your thinness and sexiness could actually fit there." Those were his actual words and at first, I didn't get it, I thought he was making a nasty comment for retaliation, so I said, "Whatever." He seemed a bit surprised and that's when I realized what he just said... He said, "Whatever? I can't win with you." Then I apologized and smiled, "Just kidding. Okay, flattered. Pwede mo ulitin kung gusto mo." ["You can say it again if you want to."] He just laughed again. Jeez... I know he was part kidding, but hello... He really said that about me? *blushing* No cute guy has ever said something that nice about me! Okay, so maybe his charms are really effective that's why he's got this heartthrob/chickboy rep... Damn, consider me a victim. Too bad, he's way too intense and too adventurous for me. Or for Niner, either.

Okay, okay... I had lunch with Deb, Wacky, Jacky and Kevin at the Beach House. Had the usual fun lunch talk... Then I walked, yes, I walked towards the Math Building. That was tiring. I got there just in time, even before Madel. Lorce was a bit late. The prof arrived and just said she'll distribute the bluebooks of our first exam and discuss it then she'll dismiss us. See? Most profs are still lazy to teach. My grade? Don't ask. Okay, so it was not as low as I expected it to be. I can't believe I am sucking at Trigonometry. I mean, sure I didn't ace it in high school but I got pretty decent grades. I got a 79%...and that was way above passing, but hey, it still sucked. Lorce was the highest. As expected, no surprise about that. She got a 98%.

But all thoughout it was a great, great day. The three of us chatted for awhile... then they went off to their next classes and I got to go home. *sigh*

* * *

Damn. We just had a blackout. Argh. Thank God, I'm using my laptop when it happened or that long narration would have been deleted. Jeez. I sooo need electricity for my computer... I need to do lots of stuff. Research, emails, updates, reports. Damn it. I sooo need the computer right now. My laptop's battery is low already. What a bad ending to this wonderful day.

* * *

Oh! Oh! Oh! Just found out that my dear Andy Roddick won his first round match at the Adidas International in Sydney, vs Tommy Robredo, 6-2, 6-2! Way to go, Andy! Man, did he look real good, too. Lucky, lucky Mandy. Hmph. Hahaha. Oh right, Real Madrid won vs Valencia, 4-1 last Monday... I watched the game. Great match!

What do you know, I actually did bits of my homework. Really. I started compiling pictures and maps for the Kas2 paper... I do think I can do the written report but I just don't know about the presentation. Oh God. I sure hope I can do this. I hope Ina miraculously gets better. Yeah right. I also read the manuscripts last night. I'll probably start commenting on a few later. Dammit. I can't believe I actually really have to go to school tomorrow...

Oh right, I downloaded some stuff on Faust and I need to read it, too. Jeez. But I'll have to get by with the summary and study questions coz damn Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's play is too complicated to cram with. I know it's something about making a deal with the Devil or something, but that's all. I am sooo great at this, huh?

* * *

Today is actually my parents' wedding anniversary. They had planned to celebrate and go to Don Henrico's today. But my brother Diego and I had to cancel out because of some school stuff. Well, they just canceled it out, too. They might just go out tonight... probably Eastwood or if not, just Padi's Point. Lucky them. They can go out at times like these... Unlike me. Hmph.

* * *

I sooo want to go to a Stephen Speaks show. I vow that I will. Here are some info I've gathered:

Feb 5 - TBA (the Magic contest will determine this one)
Feb 7 - Ateneo De Manila University (sponsored by MEA, High School covered courts, Php250)
Feb 8 - The Tent at Rockwell

I sure hope I can watch at Ateneo, if not hopefully that Feb 5 venue would be in UP. I am such a fanatic. They are just really cool guys.

* * *

If I hadn't looked through my Kas2 syllabus, I wouldn't have known that we won't be meeting tomorrow. Yesss! Thank God. That means my day of reporting moves a meeting later. I am just so fidgety... Oh, I decided to go ahead and do the movie Elizabeth for my Arch16 paper. Damn this life. It's all my fault, I know.

If anyone's interested you can go visit my old Journal. Sometimes we just have to move on, eh?

* * *

Shit. I cannot believe I have to be back to school on Monday. Argh. To think that I've only began getting into the Acad-Mode tonight. Dammit. Here's my urgent to-do list:
- research for my Kas2 report that'll be due next week
- finish my reading journal for CW10
- read up my classmates' manuscripts and note the important details
- start my paper for Arch16 regarding a certain movie and the architecture in it
- re-study my old notes
Dammit. So many things to cram. I'm such a lazy-ass.

* * *

Oh right. This article that I wrote was finally posted at Peyups today. That was a bit freaky, I tell you. I wasn't expecting THAT one to come out, I was thinking of another one. Hell, I got some mixed views. People can be too kind or too cruel. Check it out if you must.

* * *

Ina, my Kas2 partner for the report, texted me this afternoon. Hell, I'm doomed. Really doomed. She told me she got into a car accident and broke her right arm. It will take her three months to heal and so... she might take a LOA. Leave Of Absence, my dear. Shit. Okay, I am genuinely sorry for her (that should've really sucked with only three months of the sem left) but hell, what about me? She plans to write or email or tell or whatever our Prof the whole ordeal and hopefully, Ma'am Bolinao would have a good solution. Like, an extension for me? Hint, hint, hint! Oh God. To think, it's just the beginning to the year... I thought this was gonna be a good one?

* * *

I better start doing those HWs. Or I'm dead.