Another thingy I got from through e-mail a couple of months back, written by someone I don't know:

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean forever and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your disappointments with you head up and your eyes open; with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own sould instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you can endure... that you are strong... and you really do have WORTH.
1/28/03

* * *

Poor, Quel. I just don't like hearing that people I know (and people in general) became victims of whatever kind of crime. Reminds me of the time my mom was held-up or mugged at gunpoint a year ago... or yeah, even Joe's scenario at the computer shop/place. Tsk-tsk. Such a cruel world indeed. Sometimes I even get scared for no reason at all... just because I live in this world.

* * *

Turns out I'm really invited to Den's debut at Eastwood City tomorrow night. She came to UP yesterday and drop off her invitations... and yeah, I was invited. It seemed really weird getting her an SMS from her a couple of weeks ago, asking me to come to her party (even if it's probably the same message she sent to everyone else) coz I don't know... we weren't really THAT close. We only got to know each other during our senior year in high school. I mean, yeah we talked and kidded around but we were never really tight so it felt kinda weird knowing that she reserved an invitation for me knowing she had lots of other people to invite. Okay, maybe I'm just thinking too much into it... It's just that she's not one of the people who'd immediately come to mind if I'm thinking of whom to invite to my debut... Jeez. I'm sooo weird.

Anyway, she was our batch/class president during the junior and senior year and she's the kind of person who was friends with everybody. She was always cheerful and giddy even under pressure... with her weird and corny sense of humor. She probably had a collection of the corniest knock-knock jokes! Yeah, she was a fun girl and it's great to know that we're still friends even though we hardly bonded (in my own definition of "bond") and now that we're going to different schools.

I guess there are some people who treasure you more than you treasure them. Tsk-tsk.

* * *

1046 of Emily Dickinson

I've dropped my Brain -- My Soul is numb --
The Veins that used to run
Stop palsied -- 'tis Paralysis
Done perfecter on stone

Vitality is Carved and cool.
My nerve in Marble lies --
A Breathing Woman
Yesterday -- Endowed with Paradise.

Not dumb -- I had a sort that moved --
A Sense that smote and stirred --
Instincts for Dance -- a caper part --
An Aptitude for Bird --

Who wrought Carrara in me
And chiselled all my tune
Were it a Witchcraft -- were it Death --
I've still a chance to strain

To Being, somewhere -- Motion -- Breath --
Though Centuries beyond,
And every limit a Decade --
I'll shiver, satisfied.

Sadly, Andy lost to Taylor Dent, with a rather pathetic 6-1, 6-4 score. Oh well.

* * *

I just finished typing and printing my third manuscript for CW due tomorrow. And again, it's yet another lousy piece... Jeez. What do you do with a so-called anything-goes theme?! I've been wracking my brain for the past week for something creative, but sadly, I ended up with some senseless essay on high school. Yes, high school. Of all topics in the universe, I had to end up with high school! Argh.

* * *

I'm yet to receive my invitation for Ari's debut on the 7th. She's studying in Ateneo and we hardly see each other anymore. I'm bound to get it this week, though. I hear it's a Hawaiian luau thingy with all the works. Tsk-tsk. Ari's imagination never fails to amaze me. She's just one spunky girl.

Woo-hoo! I got to watch the replay of Andy's semifinal match vs Brian Vahaly at Kroger St. Jude. I actually didn't know that Star Sports has coverage. Good thing I was channel-surfing just when it was starting. Andy looked sooo fine... He needs to shave, though. It was actually a rather boring match. Very few long and exciting rallies, no heated arguments regarding foul line calls, only a couple of interesting dropshots, quite a few double faults and lots of unforced errors (from Vahaly). It was an un-Andy-like match... He was pretty focused and subdued, though he cracked a nice smile a couple of times. Hmmm... He faces Taylor Dent in the finals tomorrow and I really hope he wins and defends his title!

* * *

I should get back to school mode and stop lying around doing nothing. I've got that Kas 2 report tomorrow and I better start on my CW paper and my Arch 20 take-home esquisse. I should really get going or they'll pile up once again.

I'm sooo happy that there wouldn't be any classes on Tuesday coz of the EDSA holiday. That means I'll only have 3 days of classes this week. Even on Friday, I'll only have 1 class! What a great gift from God.

* * *

"We value every life. Our enemies value none, not even the innocent, not even their own." - George W. Bush.

True enough. But I'm still saying NO TO WAR, dude. Try telling that to yourself.

Hmmm... I've got nothing to do... Yes, miracles do happen and the world has finally decided to give me a break. Anyway, just for the heck of it, I've been making a list of my 30 All-time Favorite Songs... sort of influenced by Drakulita. So here goes, as of now these are my Top 30 Songs in no particular order...

1. Stay - Lisa Loeb
2. Daydream Believer - any version
3. Stigmatized - The Calling
4. Ironic - Alanis Morisette
5. With a Smile - Eraserheads
6. The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band
7. I'll Be - Edwin McCain
8. Brick - Ben Folds Five
9. All These Things - Stephen Speaks
10. This Used to be My Playground - Madonna
11. Fire and Rain - James Taylor
12. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
13. If You're Gone - Matchbox 20
14. Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle
15. Head Over Feet - Alanis Morisette
16. No Such Thing - John Mayer
17. Again - Janet Jackson
18. Buloy - Parokya ni Edgar
19. Angel - Robbie Williams
20. Cruel Summer - Bannanarama
21. On my Own - Lea Salonga (Les Miserables)
22. Best I've Ever Had - Vertical Horizon
23. Better Man - Robbie Williams
24. On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men
25. Grow Old With You - Adam Sandler (The Wedding Singer)
26. Life - Des'ree
27. Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys
28. Walking Away - Craig David
29. With You in Your Dreams - Hanson
30. You Gotta Be - Des'ree

Hmmm... now that I think about it... I probably have a hundred favorite songs. Oh well.

* * *

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-Albert Camus

Um, I don't suppose that certain classmate from CW is one of them.

* * *

I don't know who wrote this poem, but my blockmate emailed it to me. I'm pretty sure a lot of people have read this sometime before, and I don't know why I'm posting it here. I probably just don't have a life.

All Because You Kissed Me Goodnight

i climbed the door and opened the stairs
said my pyjamas and put on my prayers
i turned off the bed and crawled into light
all because you kissed me goodnight
next morning i woke,
scrambled the shoes and polished the eggs
toasted the news and read the bread
i couldn't tell my left from right
all because you kissed me goodnight
that evening at last i'm my normal self again
so i picked my mom and called the phone
spoke to my puppy and threw dad a bone
even at midnight the sun is still shining bright
all because you kissed me goodnight.

* * *

I really hate having my period! I spent most of the day twisting and turning in bed coz the damn Advil didn't work that fast enough to relieve me of the pain! Grrrrr...

I just woke up from a 12-hour sleep last night. I feel refreshed though somewhat exhausted. I guess, I really overslept... You know the feeling that you can just sleep forever? Well, I wouldn't have gotten out of bed if my mom hadn't pounded on my door and called me for lunch. Tee-hee. Today was just a perfect day to lounge around and be the absolute couch potato... I'm getting a break from all those sleepless nights and those stressful weekends.

The downside? I just got my period. Ugh. I knew it was only a matter of time when I woke up yesterday feeling sore up front (Okay, at the breasts). Then as soon as I woke up, I felt it... Tsk-tsk. I feel quite horrible right now. The dysmenorrhea isn't that bad... yet... but I'm pretty sure it'll grow worse by the day. I just hate having my period. Why do I have to be one of those girls who always go through pain whenever they have their period? Sometimes my friends complain to me that they were experiencing PMS again after such a long time and how terrible it felt... Well, try going through that every month! I think my body's beginning to tolerate all kinds of medicine or pain-relievers... I'm running out of effective pain-relievers. I tried not downing any tablets a few times before but hell... the pain was just hell and I ended up twisting and turning in bed, practically crying. God, I hate it...

Okay, maybe I should be thankful that my monthly period is still going regular (well, as regular as it can get) despite the amount of stress and the lack of sleep I've been going through. Deb tells me her period's been quite irregular, like she doesn't have it for a month but once she gets it, it is extremely painful. And yes, I should be happy that I got it on a weekend... or I'll just feel absolutely hellish at school, like Niner felt last week. She's also one of "us". Those who truly dread the monthly menstrual pain. That's one thing I miss about high school... Whenever I had the extreme bouts of dysmenorrhea and I forgot to take some pain-reliever, I could just go straight to the school clinic, take some medicine, get the hot-press and lay down for awhile. In college... I've nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. All I've gotta do is endure the pain. And it's not easy.

Sometimes I'd think... how tough would it be when I give birth (in the far, far future)?

* * *

My second Kas 2 report will be on Monday. Thank God, this other group of three girls offered to help me for extra credit... That took some load off me. I sure hope we get a high grade... or I'm absolutely doomed to fail that subject.

* * *

I'm still fussing over my dorm-hunt. How in the world would I find one? Most of my contacts don't seem to know of any vacancies. I sooo need to stay in a dorm next year coz this whole situation right now is getting to my nerves. And probably my dad's too. Yes, we had a little skirmish once again and we're still not talking to each other. I guess, if I won't stay home that much... then the lesser chances of our personalities clashing once again. Did that make sense? Oh well.

I sooo need to find a dorm.

* * *

Right. Andy's doing well in Memphis. He's now in the semis, I think...

YES. The site is under construction... God, I hate HTML! Are the colors too blinding? Too girly?

Oh right... The shoutbox still doesn't look right... I hafta change it later... Sigh...

* * *

I am looking for a good dorm. In campus preferrably. I'll have to stay in a dorm next sem coz this whole hatid-sundo situation is just such a hassle. Any suggestions? I need to find one now for reservations.

The week couldn't have started any worse than such a lovely Monday. Dammit. These first two days hadn't been that stressful... but they've been equally horrible as the past week. I'm beginning to feel so so so dumb and so so so stupid... Is that what UP does to person?

First off, I had a consultation with my Kas 2 prof and hell, my class standing is a 4.00?! Wtf? Sure, my oral report sucked but what do you expect from a girl whose partner just suddenly abandons her in the middle of the sem? My test scores are pretty average... I've never been absent nor late in that class... I've participated well enough during discussions... What else does she want from me? I feel so so so bad about the whole thing. I don't want to drop the class coz I've done so much input into it and I don't know, I've always felt that dropping is like quitting (and much as my pride is wounded, I never want to quit)... I'll just have to do much better in my next reports and I should perfect my exams. So help me God. I used to think the prof was okay... She was cool, friendly, considerate... turns out she becomes a bitch when it comes to grades. Argh.

Next stop... We had the presentation of our models in Arch 20 and yes... I sucked. As expected. My model sucked. My model was nothing compared to my classmates' models. To think that that was my third model (coz I had the same prof last sem)... while most of them, those were just their first models. I don't know. I suddenly felt so out of place and so alienated in that class. People were obsessive-compulsive freaks... and I am such an underachiever. Even the prof keeps pointing that out to me... He knows me and my friends coz we were his students last sem as mentioned and I suppose he was expecting us to do better than our new classmates... Sorry. I am probably the queen of all underachievers.

The only good thing that happened that day was that for the first time this sem, the unthinkable happened... my obsessive-compulsive Arch 4 prof was absent and so we had no class. It was just lucky coz most of us didn't do our homework. Others just didn't have the time, still others were too lazy... while some, including me, just had no idea how we'll do it. See what I mean? It just stinks. I can't seem to do anything right at all! I spent the time for that class doing the homework with few of my classmates. At least, I had accomplished something...

Forward to this day... Arch 3 was okay, I guess. We just mounted our paintings... and yeah, I do think mine didn't look so great. Compare it to Deb's, Lorce's or even Jacky's works... It would just look like trash. Okay... hold on... am I being too negative? Probably. But who cares? The past two days had been pretty negative, anyway. Right, moving along... Here's another great evidence for my stupidity: I got a 50% in that second departmental exam for Math 14. Sure, I've never been good in Math - but still, that's no excuse. Even though half of the class failed, too... It still sucked to be part of that lower half. To think that someone got a 99... Arrrgh. I'll have to do much much much better next time... Or I'm absolutely doomed.

I'm still wallowing... so if there are any typos or grammatical errors, screw them. I was too stupid and too depressed to notice.

* * *

On a happier note... Uh... Well... I better get back to you on that one...

* * *

Well, I absolutely loved my dose of Sex and the City tonight. Sigh. I wish I could live in New York... or even just a three-day visit would do. Miranda's baby was sooo cute! I loved how Samantha said, "Just what the world needs... another man."

I also watched the Amazing Race 3 replay... I miss John Vito and Jill.

Yes. My life has suddenly revolved around TV shows. Truly pathetic.

I seriously have no problems with homosexuals or bisexuals or even heterosexuals, as long as they are decent, good people. But that new girl duo from Russia, t.A.T.u.... I don't know. They are packaged and seem to be using their so-called lesbianism to create controversy and make a name for themselves. I mean, sure, their songs are LSS-material and yeah, they're probably as "talented" as any American pop princess. But producers shouldn't just launch a musical group just because two girls like making out with each other and can croon, or scream rather, a couple of notes. Clearly, it is only money and fame they are after... What will happen if these so-called lesbians or bisexuals break-up? What will happen if they get tired of writing songs for the same sex? What will happen if people get over the craze or the hype?

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure they have the talent to go even further, but I just don't like how the music industry or any industry for that matter is commercializing one's sexuality. Whatever... I don't want to get into this. Maybe they are just girls who simply like making out with each other anyway.

* * *

I am getting a headache while doing research for my Kas 2 report... I'm supposed to gather info on the Opium Wars, Taiping Rebellion and Boxer Uprising. Shittt.

* * *

Yay! Some Andy action finally. The Memphis draw is up, and he's seeded first. He'll be defending his title. The draw's not that good though... Hope he'll have a great tourney!

Oh right. New picture with Mandy emerged at RoddickRocks! Looked so sweet... I'll try to post it later if I can.

My grandparents are gone... I feel the emptiness already. You see, as some kids... errr.... as some people my age, may sort of just disregard or seem indifferent with their grandparents... I like them quite a lot. Apart from the usual pabaon or freebies (either in cash or in kind) that they love giving away... I like them for what or who they are. They are very interesting, mild-mannered and at times, funny folks. Though sometimes narrow-minded and traditional (as expected), they are few of the real honest and sincere people I know. Sigh. I'll really miss them.

* * *

I actually spent the day stuck in the house... doing homework. Yes. I wasn't much of a lazy-ass today. I actually did some research for my Kas 2 report and finished my Arch 20 plate... Actually, that plate was supposedly due last Thursday but silly Prof sort of extended the deadline till Monday when practically everyone didn't sleep just to finish the damn plate. I'm only one of the few grateful ones for the extension... coz my work sucked compared to my classmates' and friends' works. I am such an under-achiever. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I need some inspiration.

* * *

I used to be a Survivor fanatic... up until Survivor 4, I think. Marquesas? I can't remember. By then, I grew tired of their so-called tactics and the clones of past contestants. It bored me seeing dirty and muddy people in their skimpy outfits trying to manipulate each other while each of them are dying of hunger. I thought I'd never want to watch another Survivor episode again... until I saw Survivor 6: The Amazon's pilot episode this evening... It was a replay, I think... But anyway, the producers found a way to make the show interesting: two tribes, one of men, the other of women. It was sort of a battle of the sexes thingy. That was a good twist to the otherwise redundant game.

Of course, I was rooting for the women... though there were a couple of cute guys, as usual. I hate it how cocky and how overconfident guys can be. Good thing, the women kicked their asses at the immunity challenge! The men admitted that it humbled them and what do you know, they began talking about who's hot amongst the girls. Hello?! Knock, knock?! Such lamebrains.

Oh right. One cute guy was voted out. Ryan. Tsk tsk. Should've known he'd be an early victim. Would you even admit to other guys that you model for a living? They'd either think you're an idiot or they'd feel inferior to your good looks. He kinda looked like that guy from 7th Heaven, who wasn't one of the kids... was it Robby? Oh well.

* * *

Thank God, Valentine's Day is over and done with.

* * *

Oh. So sorry, I wasn't able to make it to your party, Quel. I know you had lots of fun, though!

Makes me wonder how I'll be spending my 18th birthday. I absolutely do not want a grand debut... but I want to be with all of my loved ones. It's too early to plan anything, though. I'll go through tons of debuts before I get to my own... For starters, Den, our cheery high school class president, invited me to her party on March 1st... and just yesterday, Ari, yet another high school friend, sent me an SMS saying she wanted me to be part of the 18 treasures for her debut on March 7th.

Sure hope I won't be too busy those two weeks.

Whew. Haven't blogged in a while. This has been a Hell Week for me. Tons of plates, projects and papers... Next week wouldn't be any better. Sigh. And my English 12 professor tells us we shouldn't be so stressed out coz we are just, and I repeat, just students and we have no life. Yeah right.

* * *

Valentines Day sucked... and still sucks. For me, anyway. Being single on a day made for couples sucked. This morning, Deb and I went with Gen to find a place to hang the streamer she had made for her dear boyfriend, Paolo. Lucky guy... and well, lucky girl, as well. It was a huge banner saying: GEN LOVES YOU PAO! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LOVEY! That took some guts and some inspiration I tell you. She had it all covered, she had memorized Pao's route whenever he visits her every morning during our class and she hung the banner at the first floor of the Eng'g lobby by the left entrance. She even bought him a bouquet of blue flowers. Sigh. What people do for love.

Pao was in complete shock when we saw him arrive. It was such a sweet moment... I don't know, he looked like he couldn't believe it and he was all smiles. He gave Gen her bouquet of red roses, baloons, chocolates... The likes. Even our Prof were teasing them... They are such a sweet couple. It made me happy and it made me sick at the same time.

I had lunch with Deb... great, what a date. She confided in me her problem with her friend/kabarkada's boyfriend. She met him only once a week ago and the guy has been texting her twice or three times each day eversince! What a moron, huh? He's been texting her love quotes, asking her how has her day been, staying up late with her through text as she is cramming our plates... The guy must be psycho. She didn't know how to deal with him... and she was afraid to tell any of her friends. I just told her to stop responding to the text messages. I mean, come on? Being friendly is one thing, but stalking through SMS is another.

I rode the TOKI jeepney to the Math building and hell, 3 of the girls in there had bouquets of roses with them... Argh.

* * *

I only caught glimpses of the UP Fair today. I was too tired to even have fun. I went home shortly after arriving there... besides, none of my close friends were around. As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed and I woke up just now. I've just realized that I've only had a total of 10 or 12 hours of sleep this whole week. That explains how I've been dozing off whenever and wherever I can.

* * *

This guy I am crushing on was making fun of me and joking around with me again today. I don't know whether I should be happy or what. Sometimes he's too annoying, sometimes he's too sweet. I don't know what to make out of it. Does he like me or does he just like teasing me or what? Guys are such pains in the ass. They are just as complicated as girls.

* * *

Does hearing Avril Lavigne's song, I'm With You five times this day signify anything? I am absolutely lovesick, huh? I'm standing on the bridge, I'm waiting in the dark... I thought that you'd be here by now. Where the hell are you, then?!

* * *

Oh right. Belated Happy Birthday, Quel! Hope you'll have lotsa fun tomorrow! I'll try to drop by if I can.

* * *

My grandparents would be leaving for Canada again tomorrow. I'll surely miss them, especially my grandma... I won't be seeing them for another six months and they'll surely miss my 18th birthday. Not like I'm having a grand debut or anything... I don't even have anything planned yet. Jeez... It's still months away! Anyway, yeah... I'll really miss them.

Woo-hoo! In the between of secants and amplitudes, I found time to blog! The test results will surely point this out later on... Anyway, nothing much exciting happened to day... But I met Drakulita! (Hey Quel!) That was a good surprise. I wasn't expecting her to just materialize there at the College of Architecture lobby... but hey, she was friends with Lozzie, so it's all great!

* * *

Gotta get back to studying. Ugh. Wish me luck on tomorrow's test. I badly need it...

I received quite a lot of funny reactions regarding my haircut today. Most of my old high school friends were surprised, but I suppose they remembered my short hair in high school so it wasn't such a big shock. Jeez. Some of them didn't even bother pointing it out. My other classmates were more surprised I suppose... And some of the blockmates were quite shocked. One guy said something was different about me but he couldn't quite point it out. Dude, it's the hair!

Well, most of them said it looked good on me (including this guy I was crushing on!)... so I suppose I should be okay with it. Well, I am really okay with it in the first place. Jeez. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this... Probably because I wasn't expecting people to make such a big deal out of it and when they did, I got caught in the hype. It's really pathetic and pointless. It's just hair, for goodness' sake! I should shut up now.

* * *

Forgive me if I wouldn't be able to blog as much as I can the next few days... for I am absolutely swamped with schoolwork. Tonight I am doing bits of my Arch 3 Major Plate and I am also trying to study bits of Math... Note the "bits" part. Here is the list of my deadlines...

Wednesday, Feb 12:
Math 14 Second Departmental Exam!

Thursday, Feb 13 a.k.a. Hell Day:
CW10 report/discussion on Faulkner's A Rose for Emily and Hemingway's Hills Like White Elephants
Arch 4 Class Activity (house plotting)
Arch 20 Major Plate (model with project book)

Friday, Feb 21:
Arch 3 Major Plate (Marikina landscape painting)

Those were just the major ones... There are lots of other minor paperwork to be done. Especially in CW10... (Joe, tell you all about the other requirements on Thursday...) Jeez. I don't think I even have time to catch a glimpse of the UP Fair. God, this sucks. Big time.

Wish me luck... I am doing my best to control the urges of procrastinating and the temptation of bumming around... *fingers crossed*

* * *

Did I ever mention how I am sooo sick and tired of the whole US and Britain vs Iraq issue? Bush is really making me sick.

* * *

Oh right. It seemed like someone stole the bag of Ripp, one of the singers from Stephen Speaks, on their last night (Feb 8) performance at the Rockwell Tent. Tsk tsk tsk. Lost lotsa money and other memorabilia. He's offering $500 bucks for the recovery. Hate to tell you dude, but that's just absolutely impossible in the Philippines.

* * *

I miss Andy...

* * *

I should stop rambling and get back to work now. Life is cruel.

I hate procrastinating... but I do it all the time. Is there a cure for this? Instead of doing homework and starting on my project... I surfed the net, doodled on my notebook, watched TV, ate junk food... God. This is getting serious.

* * *

I don't really believe in horoscopes, but it is kinda fun to read. Here's my horoscope for today care of Yahoo! Astrology, I am a Cancer, by the way:

Yours is often a quiet and even reclusive nature, Margaux, when it comes to expressing your feelings. However, you may find that today is an exception. The aspects that are occurring can bring a real strength to your communication ability and you'd be wise to seize the opportunity. Take steps to express your feelings by initiating conversation. Words will come much easier than usual and if there are problems to handle, you'll likely find resolve.

Okay then... we'll just see...

* * *

It's one of those things people receive in the email... I got it months ago and well, it's a nice little poem so I thought I'd post it here (plus, I don't have anything else to blog about!):

This poem was supposedly written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

I had nothing to do so I browsed through some quizzes and I answered a couple. Here's my result for the What's Your Writing Style? Quiz:


You are a dark writer. A fierce and loyal follower
of Poe and the other gothic authors, you LOVE
to instill a sense of revulsion and somewhat
fear in your readers. You love to poke their
brains with logic dealing with the darker side
of the human mind and character. Truly
surprising and a true individual, you'll do
ANYTHING to create a scene. :)


What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla

I also took that Soul Quiz from Johanna's blog awhile back:

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.


Fair enough. Perhaps they haven't. But now that you know, you must become one with your inner self.

Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?


Hmmm... I sort of agree with the results (except for the performing part and the showing-off part! - Wtf?)... but they are a bit contrasting. Oh well, there's another case of schizophrenia for you.

* * *

What would you think of a person whom when you asked what he was doing sitting around there, he answered: "Waiting for you, love" and when you asked him what he was doing walking around at the Stephen Speaks concert, he answered: "Looking for you." Then walked away on both occasions? He is sooo damn confusing.

The Stephen Speaks Concert...

Well, what can I say? It was sooo damn tiring. I knew that it was standing-room only but you know... I never really expected to stand there compressed in the crowd for over three hours! *sigh* My feet, my legs, my calves hurt... I knew it was standing-room-only but it was hell. Oh right, I went with Haidz, Vins and Martha, by the way. There were some people who tagged along, too.

The concert was supposed to start at 7:30PM but they only let people in at around 8:30PM... Good thing the show started as soon as everyone got in. It also sucked that there were some technical problems and the video screen wasn't working well.

Anyway, it was an okay-concert, I guess. I mean, it was surely much-hyped but the band delivered quite well. TJ, the lead singer, was very entertaining and Ripp, the other singer, was very warm to the crowd as well... And Dain... *sigh* Dain was just sooo cute. *laughs* I liked quite a few of their songs such as All These Things, On My Way, Leaving Song and Complete... Well, of course, Passenger Seat and Out of My League will always be my favorites. The other songs were okay, I guess... Most of the crowd just didn't know them. Some said the concert was a bit boring and redundant but I guess it's because the band and their songs aren't really that famous. You'll only truly enjoy the concert if you were a real fan. Me? I am a fan enough to be happy seeing them perform live.

The crowd... what can I say. I suppose the highlight of the whole thing was getting to see lots of people I know. High school batchmates, UP friends, AA schoolmates and other acquaintances. It was like one big reunion! We were all so excited and so giddy to each other. I saw Ari, Karen, Kate Pau, Cai, Ina, Loren, Allaine, Prescille, Joy, Kata and much much more. Plus people I know in UP. Hey, I saw David from CW and Ina from Kas1 last sem! *laughs* And yeah, it didn't hurt that there were some, and I do mean some, cute guys wandering about. *wink* But the sweet couples around me... didn't help during the romantic songs. *sigh* There were such instances that were only meant for couples and for lovers... And with my non-couple status... all I can do was sigh. Oh right... I don't know why there were so many grade schoolers and high schoolers there... I saw the nosy little freshies back when I was in AA there. Hmph.

I'd probably write about the concert more if I remember any other details... I'm too tired to think.

* * *

Oh right! I got my hair cut yesterday, just after class and before the concert. It's really short... I haven't had my hair this short since I was in second year high school! It looked okay, I guess... I don't know. But yeah, I didn't know it was that short at first then when it was finished I was a bit surprise. But then I got over it... I don't really know what made me do it but I guess I just wanted some change in my look. I had the same hair cut for two years and I just wanted to change it...

My friends were really surprised when I came to the concert with a new cut. They thought they probably just didn't notice it when we first saw each other at school yesterday but then I told them I just had it cut that afternoon... The reactions were pretty funny. For those who haven't seen me in awhile thought I had it cut a long time before so they didn't really know.

Jeez. What's the fuss over a haircut anyway?

* * *

I am so stupid. Again. Argh. I am such a bad friend! You see, I have this tendency to mix up dates and stuff, so as I was updating my calendar I asked my friend Kate awhile back about people's birthdays. I was really unsure about Mae's birthday, so I asked her... she said February 8... and I thought so, too. I texted Mae this morning a birthday greeting and she said that her birthday wouldn't be until tomorrow! Awww shit. I sheepishly apologized. She seemed okay with it... but still. That was absolutely embarassing considering she's part of my high school barkada. I am such a dimwit.

Hmmm... I'm having trouble with my blog. I don't know. Maybe it's my browser... Argh. Like I need even more problems in this life.

* * *

As usual, I am swamped with schoolwork and so, as I'm typing this, I'm also doing my Arch 16 homework. Ain't it fun? I've been racking my brain for images and experiences at the Heritage Hotel Manila so that I can give a good critique paper... But my brain has seemed to have logged off since eleven o'clock last night...

* * *

Yes. I still am worried about my adviser not showing up on Friday. I don't have much basis but I have this gut feeling and it's not good. I am so paranoid!

I am sooo stupid.

Argh. I am sooo frustrated and sooo paranoid right now. I cannot believe I've neglected my pre-advising for next year's semester. Argh. The deadline is this Friday and I haven't gone to my adviser yet. His schedule is TF 11:30-12:30 and I checked this morning, he wasn't at his office... Dammit. I checked at 11:40 only and I never got to return... I'm really worried that he might not show up on Friday again and I'm doomed. If I don't get pre-advised, I'm not allowed to enlist my CRS online. That means I'll have to go for late advising and late registration which practically guarantees me that I won't get the slots that I want. Shit.

Why am I sooo stupid? I kept putting it off and then I've completely forgotten about it. I am just sooo pessimistic. I just believe that he won't show up on Friday and I'll never get advised. I can just feel it. I don't even know him or how he looks like! He didn't show up during this sem's pre-advising and we were turned over to another adviser who was available. I'm sooo going to kill him if he doesn't show up on Friday. Yes, I am that frustrated and worked up on something I have not a clue about.

I don't like feeling so helpless like this. I wouldn't be able to think right and sleep tight (it rhymes...) until Friday. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Shit. Shit. Shittt.

* * *

Things to do for these two weeks:

- read and comment on the rest of the CW papers (due: Thursday)
- isometric layouts of the model for Arch 20 (due: Thursday)
- second major plate: plotting of the bungalow house for Arch 04 (due: still Thursday)
- Arch 16 homework: article, critique of the article, own critique (due: Thursday, of course!)
- Arch 03 landscape painting: sky (for Friday's meeting)
- PRE-ADVISE! (deadline: Friday)
- Math 14 Second Departmental Exam (next Wednesday)
- Arch 20 model and project book (due: next Thursday)

Dammmn. So many things to do... So little time in my hands. And yes, with all that I still have the courage to go to the Stephen Speaks concert.

* * *

I don't know why but I really, really, really like The Counting Crows' new song Big Yellow Taxi. It's featured in the Hugh Grant-Sandra Bullock movie, Two Weeks Notice. The first time I heard it, it stuck on my head and the more I heard it... the more I liked it. It's got a really nice tune and the lyrics aren't bad either...

"Big Yellow Taxi"
(Counting Crows feat. Vanessa Carlton)

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

Ooooh, bop bop bop
Ooooh, bop bop bop

They took all the trees, and put em in a tree museum
And they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them
No, no, no
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot

Ooooh, bop bop bop
Ooooh, bop bop bop

Hey farmer, farmer, put away your DDT
I don't care about spots on my apples,
Leave me the birds and the bees
Please
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey now, they paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not?

Ooooh, bop bop bop
Ooooh, bop bop bop

Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Well, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not?
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey hey hey
Paved paradise and put up a parking lot

Ooooh, bop bop bop
Ooooh, bop bop bop

I don't wanna give it
Why you wanna give it
Why you wanna giving it all away
Hey, hey, hey
Now you wanna give it
I should wanna give it
Now you wanna giving it all away

Hey, paved paradise to put up a parking lot

Okay... well, it can do without the "bop bop bop" part.

* * *

I've got a new crush. Really cute... and I hear he's very intelligent... He's part of the freshmen conyo crowd. What a downfall, I know.

The so-called freshmen conyo crowd are the people usually seen atop and center of the AS steps... I'm pretty sure a lot of people have noticed them. Well, I know half of them... A couple are my friends, the others I just know by name. It's actually an interesting mix: lots of Povedans, a few Miriamites, a company of Theresians, a couple of Woodrose girls and still a couple of... *rolls eyes*... Assumptionistas. Of course, what would be the reason for the miraculous bond of these rival all-girls' schools? Ateneans, duh! Oh right and a couple of guys from Xavier... Wonder why there aren't any La Sallites in the group. Yeah, I know.

Hmmm... what else can I say? Most of them are actually very nice people... and yes, smart, too... But sometimes, I just don't like hearing the unusual jumble of English and Tagalog with a rather twangy accent. Oh and majority of them are freshmen, indeed... with a few sophomores and juniors mingling about.

Now. Back to my crush. He's got the usual All-Boys' School-product look and charms... Not the whoa-kind of handsome but subtly good-looking and appealing. And no, he doesn't look Chinese... Thank God, coz I really don't understand why most of my friends like guys with the Chinese looks. I mean, sure they look fine if they do look fine, but why explicitly go for just their kind? Okay, I'm digressing now... My crush again... Sad to say, I've got no info about him. He's still nameless. But why even bother right? How do you compete with the finest products of the dignified (?) all-girls schools hanging all over him?

Issue dropped.

* * *

I just found out... I can't believe I didn't even know it before... This guy from CW class, whose first piece Johanna criticized pretty bad and who usually doesn't talk in class (you know him now, Joe?), is from my own college. Sheesh. I never knew until I saw him this afternoon at the 5th floor of the Eng'g building with his drafting equipment. Jeez. That's all I can say.

Hmmm... I'm still undecided whom I'm going with to the Stephen Speaks gig in the Ateneo. Man, I wish I had a boyfriend or I had my real barkada with me. The first one is non-existent and most of the latter are studying in far-off places. So, whom should I go with?

Group A:
Old high school friends studying in UP with their new UP friends...
(Haidz, Martha and her boyfriend, other people)

Group B:
One of my closest high school friends with her ADMU blocmates...
(Joy and other people)

Group C:
Composed of solely one high school friend who's also going solo like me...
(Anne)

Group D:
UP blocmate with her high school barkada...
(Deb and other people)

Group E:
No one...
(Margaux)

Tough decision. At one point or another, I'd feel out of place with those people. *sigh*

* * *

Schoolwork is piling up for me but I can't seem to get started. I don't know which homework or project to start on...

* * *

Jeez, I'm not so sure if I can attend Ea's dinner this coming Saturday. Man, I'll be out two nights in a row?! I need sleep and I need to get to work. I need time... Lots of time. Please.